When I have heavy things going on in my life, social media is not a priority. When I worry about someone else’s health, the only person I want to be near is the one who has me worried. When I have work stress, my own health problems, social engagements, and volunteer opportunities, I don’t even think about social media for the most part. When I am under an incredible amount of stress, the stress of keeping up with social media is just unnecessary. So, I go dark.
I picked this term up from movies about space travel. When an orbiting spacecraft reaches the side of the moon facing away from Earth, the communication channels stop working. They “go dark” until they come out on the other side. The electronics typically still work, but the interaction between the people on the ground and the spacecraft passengers ceases. Others use the term “unplug”, but I don’t stop all electronic devices. The social element of electronics is the stressor, not necessarily the electronics themselves.
I have my own drama. It’s not your fodder. I don’t need to read about your drama while I am dealing with my own real problems. Social media is stressful when going through already stressful times. But, yes, your baby is as cute as it was last week, yesterday, and ten minutes ago. I will hit the thumbs up when I have a moment with nothing better to do so you don’t think I am a jerkus bazerkus who thinks your baby is ugly. Honestly, your baby might be ugly, but I’m not going to make that comment on your photo album. I care about you, but enough of the superficial external validation for right now. If I want personal connection, I can connect with a real, live human being. Sometimes, the best thing for me is to talk to my mom and cuddle her dog, who always has joy at the sight of me.
Yes, I care about politics too, but not enough to read a poorly worded and misspelled meme with no punctuation. Also not enough to read the comments section full of people who can’t take a joke, don’t understand sarcasm, think their opinions are the only opinions worth sharing, and actually make death threats to people who disagree. I can’t take it. Not right now. I am thoroughly tempted to go dark right now due to the horrific state of the American government, race relations, and healthcare. These issues are actually the main reason I stay on social media. I have a stake in healthcare. I have a stake in how Missouri’s government handles discrimination lawsuits. I have a stake in who runs the country of which I am a citizen. I have a stake in the stupid things white people do to minorities, not because I agree with these stupid activities, but because I was born white. These actions are a reflection of me, whether or not I agree and participate. They matter.
I need to stay abreast of what is going on in my environment, but there is something about a computer screen that removes people’s inhibitions. I learn so much about a person based on what they choose to say on Twitter, post on Facebook, or share on Instagram. People who pick physical fights with others and abuse their temples in real life share memes about their Christianity. People with minorities in their extended family post racist op-eds that always begin with, “I’m not racist, but…” Do people even realize what they say on social media? I guess it boils down to me needing to know less about everyone in my life. I don’t want to see you slap your girlfriend or boyfriend as part of a joke so you can go viral. I don’t want to see a college educated person misuse “to”, “too”, and “two”. I need peace, and I recognize that my reliance on social media usually only brings me chaos.
Social media began as a tool to connect to other humans, and it has put us further away from sincere connection. Twitstabookchat has replaced genuine friendships with a simultaneously superficial and revealing impression of who we each are, but it does not give a full portrait of anyone. We are more attached to our phones than we are to the people we can call with them. You do know we can still make actual phone calls with our cell phones, right? When was the last time you went out to dinner with friends, and not one person checked their phone for a notification, to answer a text, or to look something up? I bet you can’t even remember. I have even caught myself checking Facebook on my computer while scrolling through Instagram on my phone. How is that even possible? And why?!
My challenge to myself and to you is to limit time on social media. Parents have to do it to their children, so why wouldn’t adults do it to ourselves? You don’t have to go totally dark, but maybe hover on the edge of darkness and light. Spend more time with the phone off of your person altogether, maybe even in a different room. Schedule a small amount of phone time, rather than keeping it in your pocket all day long. I need to step away for my own sanity, and I bet you could use a break as well. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Well, here I go: Houston, we have a problem.
Bound Angles 